Apparently I'm a #WAHM...

Took me some time to work it out too when I came across it on Twitter. Working At Home Mum and there are armies of us - just key #WAHM into Twitter and you'll see that we are a presence to be reckoned with. Social media has given us a voice, a way to connect with each other and a free and highly effective method of marketing our businesses. With a few keystrokes I can invite people to check out my latest shoot, find out what they think about it or just join in the latest gossip about #theapprentice!

Twitter has often been described as the virtual water or coffee machine where people working from home can "gather" for a short break.  And although I adore social media for the infinite possibilities of marketing businesses, I have come to view sites like Twitter and Facebook as a lifeline. It's not easy being a WAHM after decades of working in offices. I miss the banter, the support of colleagues, the chance to sound some one out on a problem or new idea. I DON'T miss the politics, relentless pressure, travel, lack of fresh air (our windows didn't open and I don't know about you but I need real air from outside not climate controlled, stale air).

But I digress (or rant) - the topic here is the ups and downs of being a WAHM and Twitter is definitely an up. As is being a free agent, beholden only to yourself - and the bank manager. I love being able to choose when I want to work and most of all, being able to be the "M" of WAHM much better than in my days as an employee. But it isn't all roses, even with St Twitter to run to for support. Am I the only WAHM that journeys along a little rollercoaster everyday?

7.30a.m. - jump out of bed, feeling good, a brand new working at home day.

8.45a.m. - less good, as repeated requests to brush teeth/hair, get dressed, put on shoes fall on deaf ears and we are late to school again! How can I run my own business if I can't get two kids to school on time?!

9.30a.m. - all is well with the world. Chores done, coffee brewed and am saying "hi" to all my cyber buddies.

12.30p.m. - phone hasn't rung all morning (don't they know how fantastic a photographer I am!), postman has delivered yet more bills and my computer keeps freezing.

1.00p.m. - forgot to go shopping so it's ham sandwiches again for lunch - another thing I miss about my old job was the lasagne from the amazing restaurant.

2.00p.m. - dog walked, cobwebs cleared and I'm on a roll, firing on all cylinders. Creativity is flowing from all my pores, I'm unstoppable... but, hold on, it's 3.15p.m. already, it can't be! Off to fetch the kids from school and then put on other hat of MFT (mum's free taxi).

9.00p.m. - (huge gap filled with meals, baths, homework, picking up everything you can imagine off the floor, trying to match socks, find football kits etc etc). Check emails and Twitter and find that I have an enquiry from a new client and a firm booking for a shoot. I am a success, I am a WAHM, I can do it!! Go and drink two large glasses of wine and fail miserably at being good wife!

By Jane Burkinshaw. Share this post by clicking on one of the Share buttons on the right hand side. I'd love to hear your comments too!

5 reasons why Pinterest is good for business (Cheshire photography course with Picture It Big)

I thought I came late to the Pinterest party (about four weeks ago!), especially when I read all the much publicised statistics, but when I mention it to people I meet through the course of the day, I feel very much like an early adopter. Before I know it I find myself doing a quick and impassioned sell, impressing upon them how it could work well for their particular business and urging them to go forth and pin immediately.

This blog is for the many people out there who aren't yet pinning and who have met people like me who seem to have found a new religion. What's all the fuss about and why should you be joining in? For all you seasoned pinners please either stop reading now as I'll be preaching to the converted or feel free to add lots of advice in the comments!

The basic premise of Pinterest is that if you find a picture of something that you like and you want to keep it for future reference, you pin it to a virtual board. You can browse other people's boards for things that take your fancy, re-pinning anything you want as you go along and they can do the same with yours. Just like Twitter you can follow people or boards that interest you and likewise be followed.

A snapshot of my Pinterest boards

But Pinterest isn't just for recipes, knitting patterns and holiday ideas - although it is great for any hobby or interest. Pinterest is being used by businesses big and small, local and global as an integral part of their marketing strategy and here's why:

1. Pinterest drives traffic to your website. If someone pins an image from your website to one of their boards, they are also pinning the URL to it, so when someone else clicks on the image they are taken straight to the source - your web page! This is perhaps the single biggest benefit of Pinterest and why it is driving more sales than Facebook.
2. Pinterest allows you to establish yourself as the "go to" place for your product or service. Create boards that give your clients information, ideas, tips that relate to your sector. For example, I have boards for photography tips, and picture display ideas alongside a board with top tips for new parents - first aid, cute costumes, father's day ideas. I want to show potential clients that I am an expert in photography and that I understand what it's like to be a parent of young children. I have so many ideas for boards of this nature that I have to rein myself in a bit! What to wear for a photo shoot, how to pose, make up tips, hairstyles, trends for prom dresses etc etc!  I have started creating mood boards prior to photo shoots and inviting clients to pin their ideas on there too.
3.  Pinterest reinforces your brand values and its personality and indeed your's. Your boards do not have to be directly linked to your business. I have boards that reflect my hobbies and interests, allowing people to see the real me (or at least the side I want them to see!). Pinterest is, after all, another form of social media and we know that people like to buy from people they like or have something in common with. Companies often pin "behind the scenes" pictures to welcome clients into their world and draw them in - a kind of virtual access all areas.  But, it's wise to add a word of caution if you are using Pinterest for business - don't pin anything that could be damaging to your image - certain images from the office party would be a definite no no! 
4. Pinterest is another way to showcase and sell your product or service. You can pin images of your products and their price and even pin testimonials from satisfied clients, but don't use Pinterest purely to sell, just as you wouldn't walk into a party and bore people rigid with a hard sell of your fabulous wares! You will lose followers and turn people off. It's important to strike the right balance.
5. Pinterest is a gold mine of information -  on your competitors, your customers, the market place, social media. You can even find out everything you need to know about Pinterest on Pinterest! You can start to get really clever and imagine who your target client is and see what he or she is creating boards on. If I look for baby clothes images you can guarantee I will find women who are expecting and I can see what their aspirations are, what products and issues interest them. This helps me to refine my marketing strategy and target my activities.

Wow! And this is just the tip of the iceberg really! It's just going to get bigger and more exciting as far as I can see, in terms of opportunities for businesses. My advice if you're new to Pinterest - go and take a look at my Pinterest boards as a starting point http://pinterest.com/PictureItBig/ especially the board about Pinterest itself. Set yourself up an account and start pinning! I'm still a newbie and don't claim to know it all so you should read up on it a bit too - a friend recommended Beth Hayden's book "Pinfluence" and I became an overnight Pinterest addict!

Happy pinning!

Watch out for my next blog on how to optimise your images for Pinterest.

By Jane Burkinshaw. Share this post by clicking on one of the Share buttons on the right hand side. I'd love to hear your comments too!

Post natal depression and me

Present day
I've recently agreed to support a charity called Journeys of Hope that seeks to provide help for sufferers of post natal depression (PND). Click on the link to visit their website and find out more. I've wanted to link my photography business for some time now with a charity and for reasons that will become clear, this is the one I have picked.

I have to admit that I've thought long and hard about posting this blog, as I didn't want it to impact negatively on my business. But I really believe that I should be able to openly state that I suffered from PND without fear of being labelled a "mad woman"! I wrote the remainder of this blog seven years ago (that's how long I've sat on it!) - my children are now ten and twelve respectively and it's been an incredible and very normal journey through parenthood, redundancies and building up a thriving and very enjoyable photography business. I photograph lots of newborn babies and hope that I'm helping new parents celebrate their arrival into their world.

This is a rather long blog, perhaps more of a novella (!) but I hope that it helps someone out there to realise that they re not alone and should seek help if they recognise any of the symptoms mentioned. I also hope that it gives an insight into PND for non sufferers and helps to remove the stigma surrounding it.

Sometime in 2006 
Admitting to having experienced post natal depression has provoked a variety of negative emotions and reactions in almost everyone I have confided in. As a result I've tended to adopt a “sweep it under the carpet” / “hide it in the cupboard under the stairs” approach to it, and pretend it never happened. But then I remember the overwhelming feelings of isolation, fear and failure I  felt for a long period after giving birth, when all the books, glossy magazines and commercials for nappies were telling me that I should be enveloped in waves of euphoria, contentment and motherly love. And I feel that I am somehow letting down all those new mums currently suffering silently because of the same wall of silence and taboo which surrounds post natal depression.

I'm sure there are many people who do not consider post natal depression to be a forbidden subject – after all it gets a mention in all the pregnancy literature and some well known public figures are known to have suffered from it. But just because there is a high awareness of the illness, it doesn't mean that it's any easier to talk about if you are suffering from it.

I suppose I have to admit to a particularly strong sense of the subject being something that can't be discussed, because of my family history. My natural mother took her own life when I was 9 weeks old, because she was suffering from quite a rare condition called post puerperal psychosis. This, I've read, is an acute mental illness which occurs in around 1 in 1000 women after they have given birth. I can't remember when I first discovered that “mum” wasn't my real mother and that she had in fact died, but I think it was quite early on. I do clearly remember being about 16 and sitting in a pub after going to the swimming baths one evening, asking my father about the circumstances in which she'd died. I'm not sure but I think he had decided I was old enough to handle the truth (all I knew before that was that she had become very poorly and died). The conversation didn't last for very long and I have only very sketchy details of her death and the circumstances which had led up to it. Almost as soon as we started talking, my tough as old boots dad started to cry. I felt incredibly guilty and responsible and so it became something that we just didn't talk about again until over 20 years later when I was expecting my first baby. Not only did we not talk about her illness (which my father referred to as post natal depression) but we have also never really talked about her. I think it is all so painful for my father and he has carried so much guilt about how she died – why wasn't he with her that day, could he have done anything differently to prevent her from taking her own life – that he has simply shut it away and pragmatically got on with life. I accepted that this was the way it would be as I didn't want to cause any distress to my father – he'd already been through enough. I have a few very faded photographs  of my “real mum”. They show a rather pretty and happy looking dark haired lady in 1960's style clothes. I've pored over them to see if I can spot any ressemblence to my brother or myself, but beyond a tendency to have rather round faces we don't really look alike.

I'd always been very matter of fact about the way in which my mother died – I didn't harbor any feelings of blame, guilt or resentment, nor was I particularly upset – how could I be? I was nine weeks old when she died. The only emotion I'd ever felt was vaguely sad and curious about what might have been, had she lived. But this all changed when I became pregnant for the first time. Always having understood that my mother had died as a result of having post natal depression, I started to wonder for the first time if any hereditary factors might make me susceptible. I looked it up in the pregnancy books, magazines and leaflets and was left thinking that post natal depression didn't seem all that serious – and it was even given a less sinister name of “baby blues” by many publications. I also realised that in all likelihood my mother had had post puerperal psychosis rather than post natal depression. I knew that she had been admitted to hospital for a period of time and that she had been given electric shock therapy (something which conjures up for me awful images of  some barbaric treatment in a delapidated Victorian hospital). My knowledge of both post natal depression and post puerperal psychosis was still very sketchy. I've since come to the conclusion that the writers of generalist pregnancy publications either don't consider post natal depression a common enough condition and therefore not worthy of more than a few paragraphs, or, want to avoid scaring expectant mums with too much negativity. (This doesn't stop them dedicating pages to full colour, gory images of the actual birth – enough to make any woman start considering a c-section as an alternative).

Although perhaps PND was on my mind a little more than most expectant mothers, both my pregnancies were wonderful. I adored being pregnant, relished the changes which went on in my body and really 'blossomed”. In retrospect perhaps the high I experienced made the subsequent low seem more pronounced. I thought I'd dealt with my fears about PND as much as I could – I'd read up about it and believed I knew what to expect, and I was reassured that I was extremely unlikely to suffer from the same severe pyschosis as my mum. I'd also made sure that my midwife, consultant and doctor all knew my history – this was to be of some benefit later.

I did have a rather difficult time giving birth to my daughter, Abigail – a long and fairly painful labour, despite an epidural, and eventually an emergency c-section, throughout which I had intense pain, as the epidural had failed to work in one area. It was natural, therefore, that I would feel exhausted and somewhat low afterwards. As a first time mum, I also realised that experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions – from heart-achingly intense feelings of protectiveness and love, to terrifying feelings of panic and resentment – were all completely natural. My husband was on the same rollercoaster, so I wasn't initially concerned that my emotions were unusual or unnatural. Like many first time parents we “survived” the first few months, muddling our way through, often feeling as if we couldn't have made a worse job of it. But interwoven with all these feelings of inadequacy was an overwhelming sense of awe and love for this creature which we had created together.

I am utterly convinced that every new parent experiences to some degree the same bewildering mix of emotions, but few publicly admit to the more negative ones. And this is from where some of the taboo surrounding PND stems. I was extremely relieved to hear anyone admitting that life with a new baby was less than rosy. Everyone bemoaned the lack of sleep, the endless dirty nappies, the mystery of breast feeding, but few actually confessed to feeling more fundamentally negative emotions. When Abigail was around six weeks old, we went along to an NCT reunion. For the first hour or so, the conversation predictably covered birth experiences and poo colour. Later, in the pub, after much of the group had drifted off home, one husband asked rather tongue in cheek, “has anyone felt like chucking the little b*****d out of the window yet?!” I could have cried with relief. In retrospect, PND had a firm grip on me and I was crying out for someone to confide in, someone who was in the same rather confusing  and frightening place as me.

It still hadn't dawned on me that I was depressed. So many new things were happening that I didn't have time or energy to consider my state of health. I assumed that every mum felt the same but all were hiding it, maintaining a facade of new mum bliss, in order to just get through every day – like me. Even if, at some level, I knew I wasn't feeling like I should have been, I was in denial. After all, I had a truly beautiful baby girl – really – everyone told us how perfect she was, and yet I was feeling resentful, anxious and more despairing than ever before in my life. How could that be right?

I'm not really sure when I actually admitted to myself that I was suffering from postnatal depression. It sort of creeps up on you, although to my healthcare providers, I think it was obvious early on. I look back and can see clearly that I was displaying the classic characteristics in neon lighting. I recall telling the health visitor that even at the end of the day, when Abigail was settled for the night, that I was already dreading the next day when it would start all over again. That emotion felt completely natural to me at the time, but in retrospect was indicative of the depressive state I was in. Other symptoms included high levels of anxiety about simple things, but it seemed to take me a while to realise that I was worrying more than the other new mums I was meeting. I fretted endlessly about how long Abigail fed for, how long she slept, when would she wake and what would I do when she did. I was relieved when she was asleep, praying that she would sleep for ages but then worried sick that she was sleeping too long. Rather than resting whilst she slept, or using the time to catch up on chores, I peered in the cot every few minutes, wondering how long I “had off” from motherhood. I longed for the days when my time was my own, I wanted to admit to someone that this had all been a horrendous mistake and I wanted to turn the clock back. But at the same time, I was overwhelmed by love and awe, and a huge sense of responsibility, to prove that I could be a fantastic mum.

It's hard to explain how you feel when you suffering from PND – and I believe you can only really do it retrospectively , when there is some distance between you and it.  I think  most new mums feel low at some stage in the first year – this is only natural when you consider the huge life change they are experiencing, along with sleep deprivation, the physical changes within their bodies, and of course the impact of hormonal changes. This period of feeling low is what many know as “baby blues”. But how do you know that you're not just suffering from the baby blues? The truth is that you don't really diagnose the real nature of the illness, because the illness itself affects your ability to rationally assess your symptoms and take appropriate action. And the fact that it's so difficult to confide in anyone, for fear of their reaction and fear of admitting failure, makes diagnosis so much harder.

I perhaps had a heightened awareness that I was feeling depressed, as I had suffered once a few years before, when a long term relationship ended at the same time that I was made redundant. I recognised some of the symptoms – feeling very low and flat at times when I should have been enjoying myself, feeling like I wasn't coping, crying a lot, not sleeping very well. But for me, one of the worst symptoms was indecisiveness. I couldn't make the simplest decision – should I go to the shops or stay at home, feed Abigail in the car or in a cafe? Although this doesn't sound particularly distressing, it was for me. I was used to being an assertive, outgoing woman with a career in marketing. I had managed projects, presented confidently to large audiences, and now I couldn't decide whether to take the baby for a walk or put her in the car and go to the shops. I'd pack the car, unpack it and then pack it again.

I was also incredibly lonely, having moved fairly recently to the area and only ever known a busy office job. To compound that my dad and his wife lived almost three hundred miles away in Cornwall. This isolation would have been tough on any new mum, but even worse given that I desperately needed some support. I went along to mum and toddler groups, baby massage, rhythm time, swimming (you name it I tried it), but even in the midst of other mums I still felt alone and down. I put on a facade of being OK - exhausting in itself to maintain a mask and hide your feelings. The only person who knew how I was feeling was my husband, Nic, and he was doing everything he could to help but was completely at a loss as to what was really going on with me. He felt frustrated, powerless and even scared.

Eventually when Abigail was five months old I reached out for help and was prescribed antidepressants and counselling. Within ten days I was a different person, almost back to my old self and finally enjoying motherhood. I went to Madrid on a business trip with my husband - something I would have dreaded before - and had an absolutely magical time with Abigail during the day whilst Nic was with clients. We shopped, walked in parks, sat in the shade at cafes and had long siestas. I fell head over heels in love with her, unburdened of any depression. Antidepressants aren't for everyone and it did mean I had to stop breastfeeding, but I wished with all my heart I'd taken action months before and not spent all that time unhappy and missing out on such a special period of time with my new baby.

PND struck again when I had Sam two years later, kicking in when he was about 6 weeks old. I stuck it out for a few weeks, as I was reluctant to stop feeding him myself so soon, but realised that I had to go back on medication for the family's sake - I now had a two year old Abigail to think about and of course Nic wasn't finding it easy either. I returned to work when Sam was just five months old, a decision I really regret now, but at the time I convinced myself I needed routine and to get out the house.

We decided not to have a third child and I'd like to think that it had little to do with PND and more to do with realising that we had the perfect family - a healthy boy and girl. My only regret, and I still feel it nowadays, is that I suffered for so long without seeking help, just surviving and getting through each day, rather than treasuring those early fleeting months.  

By Jane Burkinshaw. Share this post by clicking on one of the Share buttons on the right hand side. I'd love to hear your comments too!

How to make amazing picture collages (Cheshire photography course with Picture It Big)

I love picture collages and use them a lot! Ive got framed collages with holiday pictures hanging in the downstairs loo and one beautiful large one of black and white pictures of the kids as babies framed and hanging in our bedroom. Every time I look at it I spot a different picture!

Whenever I use these collages people admire them and ask me how I made them - well here's how!

1. Download a free piece of software from Google called Picasa.

Picasa is dead useful - it's a photo library that allows you to look at all the photographs on your computer, do simple editing on them and create some really fun and useful stuff. It's aimed at your normal family user so it's really user friendly and intuitive to use.

Once you've downloaded Picasa and told it which folders to look in for pictures (it might take a while to find all the pictures especially if you have a lot!) then you will see a screen like the one above. Scroll down and you will see all your pictures in one continuous stream.

Click on an image to see a larger version - you can do lots of cool edits on it here too - have a play with them all - you can easily undo any changes by pressing the "undo" button.

If you want to use this image in your collage, then press the little green button at the bottom by the "tray" to keep it there. Carry on selecting other images to include in your collage and hold them in the tray at the bottom by pressing the green button. You can select as many images as you like - I've done a collage with over 300! You need at least 3 though! You can select from any folder on your computer simply by scrolling down. Remember to hold the pic in the tray with the green button!

Once you have selected all your images you're ready to make your collage. Along the bottom of the screen there are a number of options, including one to make a collage. If it isn't shown, then right click on one of the other buttons at the bottom and you'll get this pop up window:

Make sure you add in the collage button and then press OK and close the window. If you have problems with this, you can use the menu at top of the page: Create / Create Picture Collage.

The first time you make a collage you will probably see a pile of pictures scattered randomly. I don't often use this "Picture Pile" option - I prefer the mosaic option but have a play with all the of the types of collages by clicking on the drop down arrow.

Choose what size you want your final collage to be - if you are going to print it out then select the appropriate size for your final print. You can choose landscape or portrait too (just under "page format").

If you are not happy with the layout, try "shuffle", or alternatively you can click and drag an image to a different position and the images will swap places. I've found that by playing around with the page format and switching between landscape and portrait I can get the layout I like best.

If you want to remove an image simply select it in the collage and click on "remove" just above the collage. There are a few other clever things you can do but I'll save those for a part II!

Once you are happy with the collage then go for it - click on "Create collage". It should only take a few seconds before you are looking at your masterpiece!

Have fun collaging! Watch out for the next blog on collages where we'll look at the following:

• Adding text to your collage
• Using funky colours for the borders
• Re-sizing for Facebook etc
• How to get your collage printed

By Jane Burkinshaw. Share this post by clicking on one of the Share buttons on the right hand side. I'd love to hear your comments too!

A newborn photo shoot with Isabella Rose (by Cheshire baby photographer Picture It Big)

Are you thinking about having a newborn photo shoot but are a bit apprehensive about what's involved? Perhaps you're worried about coping with all the needs of a brand new baby and at the same time inviting a stranger into what is usually a rather chaotic home? Hopefully I can put your mind at rest and give you an insight into what's involved.

I'm a mum of two so I've been there - so tired I can't remember which way is up, getting to grips with the complete mystery of a new baby - breast feeding, nappy changing, winding and settling. And fretting about the state of the house as it's besieged by visitors!

It was no different when I arrived at Lucy's house mid-morning on the day of the shoot. Isabella Rose was fast asleep upstairs so I had a cup of tea and a chat with Lucy about what she was looking for in terms of shots - would dad be around and did "moma" (gran) want to be in a few pictures too. I explained what equipment I'd got with me - I'd already sent Lucy an information sheet with handy tips on and she'd identified a great spot in front of the living room window and turned the heating up high to make sure it was lovely and warm for Isabella - we were soon sweating away! I then brought in my back drop and props and got everything set up. The crate I used is available as a toy box with wheels and a lid and can have baby's name and date of birth stencilled on the front. I offer it as part of a newborn photography package - it's a wonderful gift for new parents.

 I use natural daylight so we don't have hot studio lights and trailing wires around - the image shows the basic set up. We picked out some blankets I'd brought along and some of Lucy's and also some gorgeous little shoes that had been sent as a gift all the way from New Zealand from Lucy's brother. I like to photograph special details like this and also include them in shots with the baby.

Once everything was ready Lucy went to fetch Isabella and we started to get a few shots. I never expect to get the perfect newborn shots at the start of the shoot - everybody is getting used to each other and the camera. Isabella was awake and quite calm and we managed to get a few images of her surveying what was happening - I'd love to know what babies are thinking as we point strange black things in their faces whilst making funny noises and daft faces! 

She lay quite happily for a short while on the crate bed we'd prepared, but when she started to grizzle Lucy cuddled her and Isabella pulled some amazing frowning faces during this time, which had us all laughing. 

Newborn shoots are very different to others that I do as baby's needs come first at all times, so there's lots of downtime, when there's nothing for me to do but make cups of tea and wait until we're ready to go again. I love babies (and tea!) so this is no chore for me. There are lots of moments like this one whilst we try everything to settle a grouchy baby!Just after Isabella had had a feed Dad nipped in from work to get in on the action and we worked quickly to get some pictures of mum, dad and baby. 

Time for another feed and then Lucy's mum was keen to get a picture with Isabella so we did that next.

Isabella was zonked and the signs were there that she was going into a deep sleep - this was finally the time when I knew that the magic would happen! We had been gradually stripping her down over the last few hours - the room was a balmy 25 degrees by now! - and we settled her in her nappy onto the crate bed and I got on with capturing those blissful sleeping newborn shots. Lucy chose to have Isabella partly covered with a pink muslin, whereas some parents go for the bare baby's bottom look - it's a matter of personal preference and I will always respect that!

As ever, everything had come together in the last half an hour of the shoot - the rose petals were a last minute addition and really made the shots look stunning. Mission accomplished!

Read about Ella Rose's Newborn Shoot and see the beautiful images her parents have displayed on the walls in their home.

By Jane Burkinshaw. Share this post by clicking on one of the Share buttons on the right hand side. I'd love to hear your comments too!